The Pizza Snob Rating System

I was about to release a review of another pizza joint but before I did I thought it best to present and discuss my rating system

Here it is:

*****   Sets the Standard

****     Near Perfection

***       Better than Domino’s

 **        Why Did I Waste Those Calories?

*           Should Not Have Been Even Called Pizza

Now here is some explanation.

In eyeballing a few other reviews of pizza joints on the internet, I quickly came to the conclusion that I am not, and have no intention of being a “food scientist.” I will not analyze idiosyncrasies of the sauce, cheese or crust and separately grade each. Yes, there are some obvious subtleties that happen and I will point those out, but my quest first and foremost is to find great New York style pizza. And the way I see it, as a pizza maker, you pretty much either got it right or you didn’t. Let me further explain myself through the ratings.


****     Near Perfection

This is what a great joint should hope to get. You did it right and your slice meets the expectations of what good New York style pie is all about.

*****   Sets the Standard

This rating will be rare but it is in the exceptional case whereby the slice is truly perfect.

***        Better than Domino’s

This is for an attempt to get it right but is one that has some obvious major flaws. It is not a place where you should go if there is a better alternative.

The other two ratings are self-explanatory and just vary in degrees of poor quality. To be honest, I expect these ratings to be rare as hopefully my screening process will keep me away from these places in the first place. However, I have come across some phonies, who think their pie is worthy and the Snob feels it is his duty to make this known.

So thanks for listening and your thoughts on this matter, as always, are encouraged and appreciated.

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